The Catholic Family Handbook by Rev. George Kelly

[Stone]

THE CATHOLIC FAMILY HANDBOOK

CHAPTER 7: WHAT OUTSIDE INFLUENCES CAN DO TO YOUR CHILD

THE kind of adult your child will become will depend upon his heredity and upon three environmental factors: the influence you exert over him at home, the influence of church and school, and finally the influences of the society in which he lives--the television programs and movies he views, radio programs he hears, books he reads, and companions with whom he associates.

It is true that you, as his parent, will influence him the most. But it is a serious mistake to believe that he can be exposed to bad influences without the danger of being corrupted by them. The Church has long recognized that even the best home training for a truly Christian life can be counteracted by other influences which oppose parental teaching and example. It is precisely for that reason that she has insisted, wherever possible, that children attend schools which teach principles of godly living. It is also for this reason that she firmly urges parents to watch constantly over external influences to which their children are subjected.

These outside pressures are probably more pernicious today than at any time in Christianity's history. Almost everywhere established standards are under attack. Note the trend toward secularism which seeks to remove God's influence from the everyday lives of the people. This trend prevents the reciting of prayers to the Almighty in many public schools and in many public meetings and is responsible for the shocking divorce rate and widespread practice of birth control. As a result of the secularist trend, almost half of the adults in the United States hold no church affiliation at all, and millions of others who claim to be Catholics, Protestants or Jews make no visible effort to apply God's teachings in their everyday affairs. Evidence of this movement away from God is apparent also in the growing materialism of American life. This materialism leads persons to believe that success lies not in the development of the interior spirit but rather in the attainment of things--bigger motor cars, larger homes, more efficient appliances and the like.

A second destructive trend is that toward socialism. It is reflected in efforts to remove the home as the center of influence in a child's life and to substitute the school or other state-supported organization. Because of the state's growing tentacles, for example, we see the pronounced campaign to educate youngsters about sex in the classroom instead of in the privacy of their homes.

Finally, the attack on established standards is nowhere more evident than in the flagrant obsession with sex. In modern America, sex stimulation is unending. Almost everywhere there are lurid photographs, provocative songs, enticing scenes in films, and the glorification of sexy women in popular newspapers and magazines. This flood of sex is not something which puritans alone are aware of; it strikes the eye of almost every observant foreign visitor. For as Pitirim A. Sorokin, the famous Harvard sociologist, pointed out in his book "The American Sex Revolution," every aspect of our culture is literally packed with this obsession.

"Its vast totality bombards us continually, from cradle to grave, from all points of our living space, at almost every step of our activities, feeling and thinking," Dr. Sorokin wrote. "If we escape from being stirred by obscene literature, we may be aroused by the crooners, or by the new psychology and sociology, or by the teachings of the Freudianized pseudo-religions, or by radio-television entertainment. We are completely surrounded by the rising tide of sex in every compartment of our culture, every section of our social life."

These influences--of secularism, socialism and sex--strike at our fundamental religious beliefs and actions. They are insidious poisons, and unless you control their intake with the utmost care they may corrupt the minds and hearts of your children. They exist in almost every area of public communication. They can be found on television, in movies, in books and magazines.

It is an error to assume, however, that those media are, in themselves, dangerous. As the late Pope Pius XII pointed out on many occasions, all instruments of communication can be marvelous forces for good. They can be used to uplift minds and hearts and to intensify our devotion to the Almighty and our spiritual growth. Much that your youngster might encounter in these media may be harmful or merely tasteless and--at least in a moral sense--neutral. Much, however, will also help him to gain a mature understanding of the world and a greater insight into idealistic achievements of which he may be capable. Therefore do not condemn movies, or television, or books out of hand. Rather, exercise a diligent watch over them. Encourage your child to seek out what is good and helpful on the spiritual, emotional and intellectual levels, and restrain him from the bad. In this necessary function as guardian of your child's development, use the guidance of professionals and their listings of movies, plays, books, etc., which are suitable for children of different ages Ways in which you can exercise a wise control over major outside influences are described briefly below.

Television. This has unquestionably become the major source of entertainment for Americans. Its impact upon our culture within a few years has been truly phenomenal. When it was first available to the public in the late 1940s, many persons believed that it would be a passing fad. This belief has not been proved in practice. In 1950, according to reliable research by the broadcasting industry, average elementary school pupils watched television about 21 hours a week. Today, the average pupil spends 20 hours, or about three hours per day. Thus there has been only a slight decline in viewing. About 97 per cent of elementary school children in areas where broadcasts can be received have access to a television set.

At the beginning of the "television age," many schoolteachers expressed horror over what TV would do to our culture. They foresaw the day when children would never read a book, listen to good music or pursue other worth-while intellectual hobbies. Their fears apparently have also been somewhat dissipated. Modern teachers do not decry the influence of television as much as did those of a decade ago, although surveys have established that children who watch the most do poorer school work than those whose viewing during the school week is limited.

From a moral point of view, blanket criticism of television programming seems unjustified. Most offerings do not offend religious sensibilities, nor do they become involved in discussions on religious or spiritual matters. Sometimes, however, ancient motion pictures are presented with themes harmful to impressionable minds. Some of these films were among those that forced the inception of the Legion of Decency in 1933, and their costuming, situations and dialogue are objectionable.

Most criticisms of television are based upon its taste, which is often questionable. Many programs appeal to the lowest common denominator and have little apparent intellectual or cultural value. They add nothing to the child's development. In fact, the constant diet of killing and fighting afforded by Western and crime programs have a bad effect. Moreover, they take time which he might use for more constructive purposes--reading a good book, visiting a museum, developing his body in sports activities outdoors.

Instead of deploring the quality of TV programs, Catholic parents in many places have formed committees to review shows and to encourage the viewing of those which contribute to a child's spiritual, emotional, intellectual or cultural growth. There are many such programs. Performances of world-famous musicians, orchestras and dance troupes, re-enactments of great literary classics, discussion programs in which public figures participate, and special events--the coronation of a pope, a national election convention, the inauguration of a president-- all contribute to your child's understanding of the world.

Operators of television stations in the United States are granted licenses by the Federal Communications Commission, and this agency has the power to withdraw a permit if a station fails to serve the public interest. Station owners, therefore, are sensitively alert to viewers' reactions. The huge corporations which sponsor most TV programs also want to provide material which at least does not offend large numbers of the population and which preferably meets with a favorable reception. You can influence the type of television programming available for your child, therefore, if you express your reactions to programs to these representatives of the television industry. Human beings tend to be critical more often than complimentary, but if you write letters praising advertisers and television station operators for their uplifting programs as diligently as you might condemn unsuitable offerings, you may be agreeably surprised to discover how great an effect your letters will have upon future shows.

Motion pictures. Since the coming of television, the American motion picture industry has undergone drastic and, to some extent, undesirable changes in its idea of what constitutes acceptable entertainment. It is no secret that producers' revenues have declined generally and that thousands of theaters are closing each year. In desperation, some producers have lowered their moral standards and emphasized lurid sex themes to try to attract customers. This fact is acknowledged even by spokesmen for the industry.

For example, the trade publication "Variety" recently made this comment: "Like any business fighting for survival, the film industry is making its pitch either to the very specialized audience, i.e., the teenagers, or else to the lowest common denominator among its patrons. That means an exaggeration in theme and substance, a heightened sense of the 'come-on,' a quite deliberate attempt to titillate, to shock, to astound, an extension of that trait normally known as 'showmanship.'"

Much of the ordinary product shown at theaters is unsuitable for children because of its emphasis on sensational themes, or is in poor taste artistically. On the other hand, Hollywood probably now distributes more films of superior artistic, spiritual and literary merit than ever before. These productions, often in the "spectacular" category, represent an attempt of the more responsible producers to cope with competition from television. They make use of all the modern advances of color, sound and literary imagination.

In view of the pronounced two-sided nature of present-day films, your need to consult Legion of Decency listings is greater than ever before. As a parent, you have the moral obligation to deny your support to individuals or establishments which do moral harm to a large proportion of the population. In the words of Pope Pius XI, "Bad motion pictures are occasions of sin: They seduce young people along the ways of evil by glorifying passion; they show life under a false light; they cloud ideals; they destroy pure love, respect for marriage and affection for the family. They are capable also of creating prejudices among individuals, and misunderstandings among nations, among social classes and among entire races."

Since movies can have such a pronounced effect upon the emotions and minds of viewers, young and old, it is a mistake to stumble into a theater without carefully determining in advance whether its film will be harmful. You can readily learn what qualified critics think of the movie in question by consulting Legion of Decency listings, which are probably published in your diocesan newspaper or posted in the vestibule of your church; by scrutinizing advertisements of the film, for if it has a sexual aspect the ads almost certainly will stress it; by reading reviews in your community newspaper and in Catholic newspapers and magazines; and by asking the opinion of other parents who may have seen it. If the film appears in the condemned category of the Legion of Decency, you are morally obliged to prevent your child from seeing it and to avoid it yourself. On the other hand, producers of films of high artistic and moral quality deserve your enthusiastic support. Don't just refrain from patronizing bad movies. You will achieve more constructive results if you support worth-while films and encourage other parents to do so. Producers governed by the dollars- and-cents response of the marketplace will then realize that they can gain more from wholesome movies than from bad ones.

Radio. Radio programs now consist primarily of music interspersed with news. The radio industry also is two-sided. On the one hand, quality stations broadcast a heavy diet of symphonies, concertos, sonatas and other works by the world's greatest composers as performed by outstanding musicians. Obviously, these programs are highly praiseworthy. By encouraging your children to listen to them, you can inculcate a love of good music which will delight and inspire them the rest of their lives. On the other hand, many stations broadcast little except the latest popular records presented in whichever eccentric way happens to appeal to youngsters at the moment. It has been estimated that there are now more than 2,300 "disc jockeys" in the United States- -virtually all of whom cater to teen-agers. The lyrics of many of the songs they play are unspeakably suggestive, and many involve illicit sex relations. One wonders why such songs are permitted, especially since the licenses of these radio stations can be revoked if the stations are not operated in the public interest. The only logical explanation for the fact that some stations exploit sex from morning till night is that parents pay no attention to the lyrics being heard or sung by their youngsters. If you closely heeded the meanings of some modern songs, you would not wait to call the station owner to account.

The printed word. Of all the means of communication to which your child is exposed, books and magazines probably offer the greatest potentialities to develop and ennoble his mind and heart--as well as the greatest hazard to his spiritual growth. Unlike television programs and motion pictures, books and magazines need not reach mass audiences to be profitable; and whereas film and TV producers often must tone down their productions to avoid offending large sections of the population, publishers often can make a profit by appealing to a small fraction of the public. Thus, a typical movie that did not reach millions would be a financial failure; a book or magazine with a sale of 100,000 copies might be an outstanding success.

If you doubt that the awesome power of the press is being exploited by some publishers, spend several minutes investigating the covers and contents of publications displayed by your local magazine dealers. You will probably find dozens, if not hundreds, of publications deliberately designed to incite sexual passion. They are to the soul of a young person as poison is to his body. Even so-called respectable magazines often offend shockingly. One such publication, for example, recently published an article advocating masturbation. Others accept-- if they do not openly promote--the practice of artificial birth control, divorce, and other procedures directly contradictory to moral law.

Do not underestimate the harm that obscene reading matter can do. The person who reads much of it surely--perhaps without being aware of it-- acquires the standards he finds there. It is no exaggeration to say that many crimes and sins are first conceived by the young mind as it experiences the secret thrill of seeing crime and sin glorified on the printed page. No less an authority than J. Edgar Hoover, head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, has stated that "filthy literature is casting criminals faster than the prisons can absorb them."

When books and magazines are not instruments of direct temptation to impressionable youngsters, they may often be objectionable on the grounds of taste. Large numbers of comic books, the favorite reading matter of pre-adolescents, fall into this category. They seemingly accept brutality and torture as a way of life, and their literary standards are the despair of teachers trying to instill principles of good grammar and proper speech in the minds of youngsters.

You are completely within your rights in voicing your objections to the store owner who displays lascivious magazines and books and makes such reading matter available to young purchasers. The merchant who displays these periodicals may not even be aware of the tremendous harm that they can do, and when you call the situation to his attention, he may eagerly co-operate by removing them from view.

As a conscientious parent, you should also inform yourself of the kind of books chosen by your local library and made available for public consumption. In our society, with its various creeds and differing shades of belief, it must be expected that libraries will select books which do not necessarily appeal to all groups. Nevertheless, some books openly attack established institutions and defy our established standards, and taxpayers may rightly protest the use of public funds to support viewpoints which seek to tear down the fabric of our society.

You do less than half a job, however, when you criticize bad reading matter and fail to support writers, editors and publishers who encourage the ideals, stimulate the mind and spark the imagination of your children. For the ability of books to corrupt is exceeded by their ability to inspire. You can find inexpensive paperback reprints of the greatest classics of English literature. There are innumerable reputable periodicals which do an excellent job of entertaining, amusing, and helping you to live better. Your bookshop has countless volumes which can enrich your child's life. Your public library has many more books which uphold all the ideals of Christian virtue and encourage young people to lead lives of courage and heroism. You should encourage your youngster to choose the good.

Companions. The older your child becomes, the more he will be influenced by the youngsters he chooses as playmates and those with whom he comes into contact. By the time he reaches adolescence, it will seem to you that he values his friends' opinions more than he cares for yours, those of his teachers, and sometimes even of your pastor.

Teen-agers themselves regard their companions as the worst possible influence on their lives. A survey of young people by Eugene Gilbert, as reported by the Associated Press, revealed that 76 per cent of the boys voted that companions were the worst influences on their lives, and 64 per cent of the girls voted similarly. These youngsters were replying to this poll at a time in their lives when they lacked the experience to measure the influences of their home, church, and school. Yet at this particular time of life, there can be no doubt that the influence of companions may be of first importance. Some youngsters replying to the survey said that today's teen-agers are afraid of being thought spineless if they refuse to go along with the crowd. If you notice high school students in a group, observe how they dress alike, walk alike, cultivate the same tastes and interests. Most will do anything necessary to win acceptance.

In view of the intense desire of most youngsters to be "in with the group," it follows that group standards exert a tremendous influence over their behavior. Groups of adolescents range from members of street gangs who consider it smart to get into trouble with the police, up to groups of intelligent, clean-cut boys and girls who can clearly see that successful living lies in conforming to the laws of God and society. Neither an adult nor a youngster needs much discernment to decide in what category any given youth will fall.

Obviously, you want your child to associate with others who will exert a good moral influence upon him. You can help by creating an environment which enables him to meet more of the higher type than the lower. One way to do this is to choose a school where high standards of conduct are demanded. Of course, many non-Catholic pupils of high moral standards attend public institutions; nevertheless it is obvious that in the Catholic school your youngster is less likely to meet students who are not a good influence.

Even in what seems to be the best environment, however, do not relinquish your interest in your child's companions. You should get to know his friends and should try to determine whether they exert a good or bad influence. Obviously, no child is perfect and it will be impossible for yours to find associates who are sterling characters in all respects. Do not expect too much of them, therefore. But if there is any indication that they are a bad moral force and are encouraging your child to sin, you should prevent the friendship from proceeding further.

You can easily forbid young children to play with certain boys or girls. It is more difficult to do so with teen-agers. An adolescent is usually intensely loyal to his friends, and your criticism of those you consider undesirable may cause him to defend them out of loyalty. Instead of separating your child from his undesirable companion, therefore, you may bring them closer together. This applies to friendship between members of the opposite sex as well as to friendships between members of the same sex. Moreover, your child may see valuable qualities in other youngsters which you do not see. When you have clear evidence that his friends are a bad influence, you probably could achieve better results with an adolescent by appealing to his sense of idealism and his concepts of right and wrong. As a last resort, it may be necessary to change his environment. For example, transferring him to another school will introduce him to new friends and weaken his bonds with the old ones.

Ever since the early days of the Church, theologians have studied what are the responsibilities of one person toward another who leads a sinful life. This question may arise anew when a boy or girl is attracted by feelings of sympathy to another youngster who exerts an undesirable influence. Is a girl or boy morally justified in maintaining the friendship to try to reform one with sinful tendencies? The answer would seem to be that if the undesirable youngster belongs to a group in which the majority are of good moral caliber, it would be wrong to deny him the opportunity to improve. On the other hand, one good youngster in a group of undesirable boys would have little chance to reform them. Instead, he would probably become corrupted. A boy or girl should associate with one with evil tendencies, therefore, only when the likelihood is very great that good influences will prevail.

Community influences. Community recreation centers, boys' clubs, dancing schools, teenage canteens and similar organizations all have some effect upon your child's development. The effect may be good or evil. If the clubs are operated by adults with Christian ideals, they perform a worth-while service in introducing children to wholesome recreation. If they are not properly supervised or if their membership consists mainly of undesirable types, they can be a real source of evil. Before allowing your youngster to join organizations of this kind, you should find out who the sponsors are, what kind of boys and girls attend, and whether there will be chaperons. Teen-agers do not like to feel that they are not trusted, but they also recognize the need of adult supervision. Parents often can improve the influence that such organizations exert on the community by taking an active part in their activities.

Some general principles. In protecting your child from unsuitable community influences or from bad television shows, movies, radio programs, reading matter or bad companions, do not adopt the posture of the stern policeman. Rather, try to anticipate possible problems before they arise. Discuss them reasonably with your youngster, emphasizing your loving concern for his welfare. For instance, if an undesirable motion picture is coming to your community, you can convince your youngster that he should not see it if you discuss its bad qualities before the question of his actual attendance is raised. Similarly, you can emphasize the harm in reading salacious magazines before he reaches the teen years when he might be tempted to buy one. Some magazines and many local newspapers publish previews of forthcoming television programs, enabling you to choose in advance the most desirable ones for the children to see. If you take advantage of this opportunity to pre- select your child's TV viewing, you can help make this medium a good influence upon him.

To protect your youngster from evil forces outside the home will require much patience and application. There are so many sources of possible moral harm that you will have to be constantly alert. Your constant concern will be reflected, however, in your child's wholesome development. Eternal vigilance is the price of sanctity.