03-07-2021, 03:04 PM
Chapter 7 (Part 2)
Custody of the Eyes
So, beginning with the first sense, modesty includes the eyes. Since we are aware of just how alluring eyes can be it is no wonder, they alone are used in so many advertisements. This alone tells us that the same eyes can also be used in a very immodest way. The eyes can bring into the soul those images which are gravely sinful and in this age of technology this can happen without searching for them. One must have been practising modesty of the eyes, and mortifications of the sense simply to be able to pull one’s eyes away from such filth. Rev. Kuehnel mentions how we should notice the eyes of the Blessed Virgin in Her statues and pictures. Her eyes are always lifted heavenwards or downcast, “to teach us that we must guard our eyes if we wish to preserve modesty.”
One barely need mention, the horrendous sinfulness in pornographic materials and the effect on the reader. St. Maria Goretti at the young age of twelve, became a modern martyr of purity. She was killed in 1902 because she refused to tarnish her purity and instead gave up her life to protect it. Later, her attacker Alessandro wrote this statement, “I ask pardon of the world of the outrage done to the martyr Maria Goretti and to purity. I exhort everyone to keep away from immoral shows, from dangers, from occasions that can lead to sin.” 11. His confession proves the connection between pornography and the increase in crimes of this type. Our highly pornographic society is surely the cause of the high rate of crimes of a sexual nature. You must understand that many of the movies that are put out today are mostly pornographic to one degree or another. One cannot go to a movie or rent a new one that will not have at least some impure scene in it or suggested. Time and time again, even the children’s movies that are being introduced are considered soft pornography as they make all kinds of suggestive ‘jokes’ and the women are portrayed quite seductively. I would highly suggest that you only rent old movies or begin your own collection of purely Catholic movies for your family. Catholic movies can also be rented (see Resources). Otherwise, simply stay away from them! Your soul and the souls of your children are at stake!
Eccles. 9:5 says, “For many have perished by the beauty of a woman and hereby lust is enkindled as a fire.” And Fr. Kunkel goes on to explain the importance of this in his Handbook where he says that one may look nine times with no problem, only for the tenth time to become an occasion of sin. He says it is better to save ourselves from the start by not looking rather than trying to stop the ‘wheels’ after they have begun rolling. Husbands, I encourage you to hear this from Fr. Kunkel, there is no more ‘shopping’! Those looks which to you may seem to be nothing, may one day torment you so much that they are the cause of great strife in your marriage. Satan wishes to destroy good Catholic marriages and this is the one access he can have. One harmless look may come up again one day when our defenses are down and then that harmless look could cause us far more harm than we would have thought! Guard yourselves against this enemy with prayer and control of the eyes. So, for those souls seriously interested in protecting their souls from such, we will want to take Fr. Tanquerey’s advice when he says, mortifying “the sense of sight by repressing idle, curious glances and by duly controlling his eyes in all simplicity without any show of affection.” This also would mean that the proper conduct for any woman or girl in regards to modest looks would be to never engage a man’s eye-contact unless she is engaging in conversation with him. I have personally observed that those young girls who have retained that natural purity and modesty do this naturally which seems to make it a natural part of this virtue. Therefore, it would be a good idea for us all to revive and practice if we do not already practice this. This is also a feminine trait which when practiced will help you to gain the respect due to you as a woman. Fr. Kunkel says that “women (are) the guardians of chastity in the world.” Since woman can either be man’s helpmate or his temptress, either way we affect men for the good or the worse. So, let be for the better!
Keep a Check on the Ears and Tongue too!
Modesty also includes the ears and the tongue. Rev. Kuehel says that if we look at all the images of the Blessed Virgin we will see that She has Her head covered, hair as well as ears. He says that by this symbolism, “We are given to understand that the Blessed Virgin Mary did not have Her ears open to listen to all that was said.” As we all know there are many things that we try to protect our children from hearing that would destroy their purity. It does not take much for them to hear. Again, living in a most immodest and sinful age it is most important to curtail all those things that would leave us vulnerable to hearing what is improper. This would include most movies, radio, newspapers, magazines, audio tapes and videos besides the obvious television. Only under the strictest supervision can any of these materials be used safely. An excellent example of safe materials would be, most Catholic videos and audios. Don’t forget conversations that can be overheard at gatherings or public places or among the many friends that we or our children can keep. Just recently, at an outing to our small our public library, our eldest daughter, Sierra was jovially questioned that she surely had a boyfriend and that there was nothing wrong with that. When she responded “No,” the questioner teased, “Oh, that’s too bad. Why not, etc.” This is just a small rural library and I as well as my daughter were insulted at the casual breaching of such a delicate subject.
We can never be too careful when it comes to our children. Today it is not too much to be sure they are not left alone anywhere, if only to preserve their purity. Friends are especially important to children, and are the largest influence on them, for ‘better or worse’. It must be our responsibility to ensure that they are of worthy character at all costs. St. Paul tells us, “Evil communications corrupt good manners.” 1 Matt. 5:28. Fr. Godly ways by giving ear to impure conversations or words against their neighbour. Obscene words induce a morbid curiosity, excite the passions, kindle desire, and incite to sin; whilst unkind words stir up strife and divisions even in the home, give rise to suspicion, enmity and rancour.” Rev. Kuehnel says that St. Stanislaus was known to not tolerate an immodesty word and would become faint at the sound of it. His brother Paul was not like this, but would defend his brother and warn his companions to change their conversations when he would come near. He became known as ‘the saint’ whenever he was approaching. Therefore, it goes without saying, anything that we would hear or say that would affect our purity among other virtues, would be forbidden. Knowing children as we do, it is wise to not let them play unsupervised for extended periods as their natural curiosities can lead them to discussing or joking about subject areas that are most improper. This is especially important when your children are with children other that those in your own family.
Do not give in to the vulgar jests that are so common today as well. Rev. Kuehnel says to never say “a single nasty or double meaning word.” If a remark cannot be said in the presence of your mother, or moreso, in the presence of the Blessed Mother, he says, then it should not be said.