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Chapter I. Of Her Many and Various Temptations
In order, therefore, that I might not feel myself exalted by the magnitude and the number of the revelations, visions, and conversings with God, and that I might not be puffed up with the delight thereof, the great tempter was sent unto me, who did afflict me with many and divers temptations, wherefore was I afflicted both in my soul and in my body. The torments of the body were verily numberless and were administered by many demons in divers ways, so that I do scarce believe that the sufferings and infirmity of my body could be written down. There remained not one of my members the which was not grievously tormented; neither was I ever without pain, without infirmity, or without weariness. Always was I weak and feeble, and full of pain, so that I was compelled to be almost continually lying down. All my limbs were as though beaten, and with many troubles did the demons afflict me.
Thus was I perpetually sick and swelled, and in all my limbs I did suffer pain, so that it was difficult for me to move myself. Nevertheless was I not weary of lying still, neither was I yet able to eat sufficient. In short, the sufferings of the body were great, but those of the soul were beyond all comparison more bitter and more numerous, and all were inflicted by the same demons. I can only liken myself unto one who is hanged by the neck, his hands tied behind his back and his eyes bound, and who is left hanging by a rope upon the gallows; and although he hath no help or remedy or support, he doth nevertheless continue to live in that torment and cannot die. And I do affirm that even more desperately and with greater cruelty was I afflicted by demons, for they hanged my soul and all its strength was overwhelmed and departed from it. And seeing how that I had no power to oppose them, my grief was so great that at times I was scarce able to weep for rage and for grievous suffering. Moreover, I wept without obtaining relief, and ofttimes was my rage so great that I could scarce refrain from rending myself and beating myself most grievously, thus causing my head and all my members to swell. When my soul beheld itself cast down and all its virtue departed from it, then it made great lamentation, and then did I cry unto my God.
After this I did endure another torment, for every vice was re-awakened within me. Not that — albeit re-awakened — they had power to overcome my reason, but they did occasion me much tribulation. And not only did I remember those vices which assailed me in times past, but many others which I did never before know entered into my body and did inflame me and cause me the utmost suffering. But because they had no lasting power over me they did afford me great consolation when they began to weaken and leave me. This was the work of the demons into whose hands I perceived I had been delivered, but when I do remember how that God was afflicted here below and in poverty, I would that mine own sufferings might be increased twofold.
At times was I thrown into a most horrible darkness of spirit by the demons, wherein it did appear that all hope of good was withdrawn from me. Then those vices which were dead inwardly in the soul were revived outwardly in the body, both those which I did never before feel and those which I did have aforetimes. And I did suffer so greatly that I was constrained to put actual fire upon my body in order that it might quench the burning of desire; and this I did continue to do until my confessor forbade me. And when I was in that darkness of spirit methought I would have chosen rather to be roasted than to endure such pains. Wherefore did I cry aloud and call upon death, desiring that it should come in any form whatsoever if only God would permit me to die. And unto God did I say: "Lord, if Thou wilt send me into hell, I pray Thee tarry not, but do it instantly, and since Thou hast abandoned me, make an end of it now and plunge me into the depths." Presently I perceived that this was the work of demons and that such vices exist not in the soul, for never would I have consented thereto. Howsoever, the body doth suffer violence, and so great is the grief and pain that if it should endure the body would not be able to bear it. Moreover, the soul doth find that all its strength hath been taken from it, and albeit it doth in no wise consent unto vice, yet can it not resist. And seeing that it doth act contrary to the will of God, it loseth all hope of being able to resist and is tormented by those vices.
Among others, God did permit one vice to enter into me the which I had never known before, but I did clearly perceive that it entered into me by Divine permission, and it was so great that it did exceed all the others. Upon the other hand was there given unto me a certain virtue, manifestly wherewith to oppose the aforesaid vice and by means of which God did most potently set me free. Wherefore even if I had not already possessed a sure faith in God, this one thing alone would have inspired me with such a faith and a certain hope, of the which I could in no wise doubt. For virtue did increase and vice did diminish, and I was so upheld by that virtue that I could not consent unto wrong-doing, and likewise by means of that virtue was I so enlightened and strengthened that not all the men who were in the world, nor all the demons, could have persuaded me to commit the smallest sin. Hence proceedeth the aforesaid faith in God. The aforesaid vice was so great that I am ashamed to speak of it, and of such potency that if the virtue had tarried in coming to succour me, neither shame nor suffering nor any other thing whatsoever would have sufficed to restrain me from instantly falling back into sin. And all this did I bear for the space of more than two years.
Furthermore, beside this, was there a continual conflict betwixt humility and a certain pride, the which did increase in my soul and grievously vex it. The humility was because I did see myself fallen from all goodness and void of all virtue and grace, perceiving in myself such an infinite multitude of sins that I could not believe that God would ever desire to have me for His own. I perceived myself to have become an habitation of demons, their creditor and their child. Likewise methought that I had strayed from the right way and from all truth, and finally that I was worthy of the nethermost depths of hell. It must be known that this humility brought no contentment unto my soul, neither any understanding of divine truth and goodness, but was a certain humble dejection the which was the cause of innumerable evils. For I did perceive the backsliding of both soul and body, on account of which I did know in my soul that I was surrounded by demons.
Then was God hidden from me in all His power and grace, neither could I by any manner of means recall Him unto my mind, because He would not permit it. Thus did I perceive myself to be condemned, but I could not believe that I had been mine own damnation, because I did more grieve and lament for having offended my Creator than for any other thing. For this reason did I strive with all my members against the demons, that I might overcome the aforesaid vices, but I was not able, neither could I find any remedy or any way whereby I might escape or help myself, so deep did I perceive myself to have fallen. Wherefore was I ofttimes plunged into the abyss of this humility, wherein I did behold my sins and the superabundance of mine iniquities, but I did see no way whereby they might be made manifest and known unto all.
And in order that I might make known my dissembling and my sins, it came into my mind to go throughout the cities and open places with meat and with fishes hanging about my neck, and to cry: "This is that woman, full of evil and of dissembling, slave of all vices and iniquities, who did good deeds that she might obtain honour amongst men! And especially when I caused it to be told unto those whom I had bidden to mine house that I did eat neither fish nor meat, and when — being the while full of greediness, gluttony, and drunkenness — I did feign to desire naught save what was needful. I did diligently make an outward show of being poor, but I caused many sheets and coverings to be put there where I lay down to sleep, causing them to be taken up in the morning in order that none might see them. Behold, therefore, the devil of my soul and the iniquity of mine heart; hearken unto a daughter of hypocrisy and pride, a deceiver and an abomination of God who did feign to be a child of prayer. I was given over to pride and to the devil, but I did feign to have God in my soul and His consolation in my chamber, whereas I had the devil alike in my soul and in my chamber. And know ye, that during all the time of my life I have studied how that I might obtain the fame of sanctity, but verily I say unto you that through the iniquity and the hidden dissembling of mine heart have I deceived many, and have been the murderer of many souls, and of mine own soul likewise."
Then, being still sunk in this abyss, I did turn me towards these my brothers (who are called sons), saying: "Henceforth, oh my sons, ye will no longer believe in me; do ye not see how that I am possessed of the devil? Pray ye that the justice of God may compel the demons to go forth out of my soul, and that they may make manifest their most evil works in order that God may be no more dishonoured by me. See ye not that all that which I have told unto you is false? See ye not that if there were no iniquity whatsoever in the world, I should fill it out of the abundance of mine own iniquity? Wherefore must ye no longer put faith in me, neither must ye worship this living image; but pray that the justice of God may cause it to be cast down and broken asunder, so that its devilish works may be made manifest, its lies and its painted and gilded words, the which I did colour over and conceal with divine words in order that I might be adored and honoured as a thing of God. Pray ye finally that the devil may go forth out of this idol, and that by this woman the world may be no longer deceived. And I will pray unto the Son of God (whom I dare not name) that if it pleaseth Him not to show forth my sins Himself, that He will cause the earth to witness unto them by opening and swallowing me up, making of me such an example that men and women will say: 'Lo, how was she painted in false colours and a dissembler within and without!'"
At times I had a mind to put a rope about my neck, verily a strong band, and to cause myself to be dragged through the city and the open places, crying: "This is that woman who during all the time of her life hath showed the false in place of the true," and that all persons then should say: "Behold a miracle of God, for He hath caused this woman to reveal her sins of her own self and to declare her iniquities which have heretofore been hidden!" Yet did this not suffice unto my soul, for I was fallen into a desperation such as had never before been seen in this world, the cause thereof being that I did despair of God and all His benefits by reason of having made conflict betwixt me and them.
For which reason, also, was I certain that in the whole world there was no person more full of all manner of wickedness and more worthy of condemnation than was I. And all that which had been given me of God had been granted for the increasing of my despair and my condemnation. Wherefore pray ye unto God that He tarry no longer, for my head is already breaking, my body fainteth, and mine eyes are dimmed because of the abundance of my tears. And lastly, all my members are loosened and can no more give proof of the wickedness of my soul, but I do rejoice that it hath been made manifest in part." And all this did I perceive in mine humility. Thou must know, however, thou who hast written down these matters, that what thou hast written is but a small thing in comparison with all mine iniquities and mine abuses, for I was yet very young when I did begin to do wrong. These and other like things was I constrained to say when I was sunk in the aforesaid humility.
After this came pride. Then was I filled with wrath and vanity, with melancholy and bitterness, and all puffed up with pride. Thereto was added another bitterness concerning the benefits which God had bestowed upon me, because I remembered no more any good thing of them whatsoever, but only remembered injuries and dolorous grief, marvelling that there had been any virtue whatsoever in me and doubting whether in truth there had ever been any. Neither did I perceive any reason wherefore God should have permitted this, and for this cause was all goodness shut away from me and hidden. The temptation of this thought did make me to be filled with pride and anger, most bitter sadness and affliction and a grief greater than I can declare, so that if all the wise men of the world and all the saints of paradise had given me every assurance to comfort me and had promised me every blessing which could be named, not even they could have done aught for me or rendered me any help, if God had not changed my soul and worked differently within it. Neither should I have believed in them, but all would have worked together to increase mine anger, affliction, sadness, and pain more than I could possibly declare.
Wherefore, if God would but have liberated me from these torments and temptations, in lieu thereof would I willingly have suffered every ill and would have borne all the infirmities and suffering which have ever been known, and verily do I believe that they would have been less hard for me to bear than were the aforesaid torments. Wherefore have I ofttimes said that, if only I might be set free from them, I would gladly have endured every form of martyrdom. This state of torments and temptations did begin some little while before the time of the pontificate of Celestino and did last more than two years, during the which I was ofttimes tormented, nor am I even yet entirely freed, albeit I do now feel it but seldom, and that only outwardly, not inwardly as heretofore. But when I am in that state I do perceive that in betwixt that evil humility and that pride there is a great purging and purifying of the soul, by which and through which is acquired that true humility without which none can be saved; so that the greater the humility, the greater is likewise the purification. Thus came I to know that betwixt those two aforesaid extremes my soul must be burned and martyred, and through the knowledge of mine offences and my sins (which knowledge it did obtain through that same true humility) my soul became purged both of pride and of demons. For the which reason doth it come that the poorer the soul is made and the more profoundly humiliated, the more doth it abase and purify itself in order that it may be cleansed. And in no other way can a soul be cleansed save by deep humiliation and by being most profoundly implanted and rooted in veritable and true humility.
Here endeth the Conversion, Penitence, and Temptation of the Blessed Angela of Foligno.
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¹ Petruccio was evidently some noted personage of the time, whose identity it is impossible now to trace. *(footnote referring back to the previous chapter's mention of Petruccio)*
In order, therefore, that I might not feel myself exalted by the magnitude and the number of the revelations, visions, and conversings with God, and that I might not be puffed up with the delight thereof, the great tempter was sent unto me, who did afflict me with many and divers temptations, wherefore was I afflicted both in my soul and in my body. The torments of the body were verily numberless and were administered by many demons in divers ways, so that I do scarce believe that the sufferings and infirmity of my body could be written down. There remained not one of my members the which was not grievously tormented; neither was I ever without pain, without infirmity, or without weariness. Always was I weak and feeble, and full of pain, so that I was compelled to be almost continually lying down. All my limbs were as though beaten, and with many troubles did the demons afflict me.
Thus was I perpetually sick and swelled, and in all my limbs I did suffer pain, so that it was difficult for me to move myself. Nevertheless was I not weary of lying still, neither was I yet able to eat sufficient. In short, the sufferings of the body were great, but those of the soul were beyond all comparison more bitter and more numerous, and all were inflicted by the same demons. I can only liken myself unto one who is hanged by the neck, his hands tied behind his back and his eyes bound, and who is left hanging by a rope upon the gallows; and although he hath no help or remedy or support, he doth nevertheless continue to live in that torment and cannot die. And I do affirm that even more desperately and with greater cruelty was I afflicted by demons, for they hanged my soul and all its strength was overwhelmed and departed from it. And seeing how that I had no power to oppose them, my grief was so great that at times I was scarce able to weep for rage and for grievous suffering. Moreover, I wept without obtaining relief, and ofttimes was my rage so great that I could scarce refrain from rending myself and beating myself most grievously, thus causing my head and all my members to swell. When my soul beheld itself cast down and all its virtue departed from it, then it made great lamentation, and then did I cry unto my God.
After this I did endure another torment, for every vice was re-awakened within me. Not that — albeit re-awakened — they had power to overcome my reason, but they did occasion me much tribulation. And not only did I remember those vices which assailed me in times past, but many others which I did never before know entered into my body and did inflame me and cause me the utmost suffering. But because they had no lasting power over me they did afford me great consolation when they began to weaken and leave me. This was the work of the demons into whose hands I perceived I had been delivered, but when I do remember how that God was afflicted here below and in poverty, I would that mine own sufferings might be increased twofold.
At times was I thrown into a most horrible darkness of spirit by the demons, wherein it did appear that all hope of good was withdrawn from me. Then those vices which were dead inwardly in the soul were revived outwardly in the body, both those which I did never before feel and those which I did have aforetimes. And I did suffer so greatly that I was constrained to put actual fire upon my body in order that it might quench the burning of desire; and this I did continue to do until my confessor forbade me. And when I was in that darkness of spirit methought I would have chosen rather to be roasted than to endure such pains. Wherefore did I cry aloud and call upon death, desiring that it should come in any form whatsoever if only God would permit me to die. And unto God did I say: "Lord, if Thou wilt send me into hell, I pray Thee tarry not, but do it instantly, and since Thou hast abandoned me, make an end of it now and plunge me into the depths." Presently I perceived that this was the work of demons and that such vices exist not in the soul, for never would I have consented thereto. Howsoever, the body doth suffer violence, and so great is the grief and pain that if it should endure the body would not be able to bear it. Moreover, the soul doth find that all its strength hath been taken from it, and albeit it doth in no wise consent unto vice, yet can it not resist. And seeing that it doth act contrary to the will of God, it loseth all hope of being able to resist and is tormented by those vices.
Among others, God did permit one vice to enter into me the which I had never known before, but I did clearly perceive that it entered into me by Divine permission, and it was so great that it did exceed all the others. Upon the other hand was there given unto me a certain virtue, manifestly wherewith to oppose the aforesaid vice and by means of which God did most potently set me free. Wherefore even if I had not already possessed a sure faith in God, this one thing alone would have inspired me with such a faith and a certain hope, of the which I could in no wise doubt. For virtue did increase and vice did diminish, and I was so upheld by that virtue that I could not consent unto wrong-doing, and likewise by means of that virtue was I so enlightened and strengthened that not all the men who were in the world, nor all the demons, could have persuaded me to commit the smallest sin. Hence proceedeth the aforesaid faith in God. The aforesaid vice was so great that I am ashamed to speak of it, and of such potency that if the virtue had tarried in coming to succour me, neither shame nor suffering nor any other thing whatsoever would have sufficed to restrain me from instantly falling back into sin. And all this did I bear for the space of more than two years.
Furthermore, beside this, was there a continual conflict betwixt humility and a certain pride, the which did increase in my soul and grievously vex it. The humility was because I did see myself fallen from all goodness and void of all virtue and grace, perceiving in myself such an infinite multitude of sins that I could not believe that God would ever desire to have me for His own. I perceived myself to have become an habitation of demons, their creditor and their child. Likewise methought that I had strayed from the right way and from all truth, and finally that I was worthy of the nethermost depths of hell. It must be known that this humility brought no contentment unto my soul, neither any understanding of divine truth and goodness, but was a certain humble dejection the which was the cause of innumerable evils. For I did perceive the backsliding of both soul and body, on account of which I did know in my soul that I was surrounded by demons.
Then was God hidden from me in all His power and grace, neither could I by any manner of means recall Him unto my mind, because He would not permit it. Thus did I perceive myself to be condemned, but I could not believe that I had been mine own damnation, because I did more grieve and lament for having offended my Creator than for any other thing. For this reason did I strive with all my members against the demons, that I might overcome the aforesaid vices, but I was not able, neither could I find any remedy or any way whereby I might escape or help myself, so deep did I perceive myself to have fallen. Wherefore was I ofttimes plunged into the abyss of this humility, wherein I did behold my sins and the superabundance of mine iniquities, but I did see no way whereby they might be made manifest and known unto all.
And in order that I might make known my dissembling and my sins, it came into my mind to go throughout the cities and open places with meat and with fishes hanging about my neck, and to cry: "This is that woman, full of evil and of dissembling, slave of all vices and iniquities, who did good deeds that she might obtain honour amongst men! And especially when I caused it to be told unto those whom I had bidden to mine house that I did eat neither fish nor meat, and when — being the while full of greediness, gluttony, and drunkenness — I did feign to desire naught save what was needful. I did diligently make an outward show of being poor, but I caused many sheets and coverings to be put there where I lay down to sleep, causing them to be taken up in the morning in order that none might see them. Behold, therefore, the devil of my soul and the iniquity of mine heart; hearken unto a daughter of hypocrisy and pride, a deceiver and an abomination of God who did feign to be a child of prayer. I was given over to pride and to the devil, but I did feign to have God in my soul and His consolation in my chamber, whereas I had the devil alike in my soul and in my chamber. And know ye, that during all the time of my life I have studied how that I might obtain the fame of sanctity, but verily I say unto you that through the iniquity and the hidden dissembling of mine heart have I deceived many, and have been the murderer of many souls, and of mine own soul likewise."
Then, being still sunk in this abyss, I did turn me towards these my brothers (who are called sons), saying: "Henceforth, oh my sons, ye will no longer believe in me; do ye not see how that I am possessed of the devil? Pray ye that the justice of God may compel the demons to go forth out of my soul, and that they may make manifest their most evil works in order that God may be no more dishonoured by me. See ye not that all that which I have told unto you is false? See ye not that if there were no iniquity whatsoever in the world, I should fill it out of the abundance of mine own iniquity? Wherefore must ye no longer put faith in me, neither must ye worship this living image; but pray that the justice of God may cause it to be cast down and broken asunder, so that its devilish works may be made manifest, its lies and its painted and gilded words, the which I did colour over and conceal with divine words in order that I might be adored and honoured as a thing of God. Pray ye finally that the devil may go forth out of this idol, and that by this woman the world may be no longer deceived. And I will pray unto the Son of God (whom I dare not name) that if it pleaseth Him not to show forth my sins Himself, that He will cause the earth to witness unto them by opening and swallowing me up, making of me such an example that men and women will say: 'Lo, how was she painted in false colours and a dissembler within and without!'"
At times I had a mind to put a rope about my neck, verily a strong band, and to cause myself to be dragged through the city and the open places, crying: "This is that woman who during all the time of her life hath showed the false in place of the true," and that all persons then should say: "Behold a miracle of God, for He hath caused this woman to reveal her sins of her own self and to declare her iniquities which have heretofore been hidden!" Yet did this not suffice unto my soul, for I was fallen into a desperation such as had never before been seen in this world, the cause thereof being that I did despair of God and all His benefits by reason of having made conflict betwixt me and them.
For which reason, also, was I certain that in the whole world there was no person more full of all manner of wickedness and more worthy of condemnation than was I. And all that which had been given me of God had been granted for the increasing of my despair and my condemnation. Wherefore pray ye unto God that He tarry no longer, for my head is already breaking, my body fainteth, and mine eyes are dimmed because of the abundance of my tears. And lastly, all my members are loosened and can no more give proof of the wickedness of my soul, but I do rejoice that it hath been made manifest in part." And all this did I perceive in mine humility. Thou must know, however, thou who hast written down these matters, that what thou hast written is but a small thing in comparison with all mine iniquities and mine abuses, for I was yet very young when I did begin to do wrong. These and other like things was I constrained to say when I was sunk in the aforesaid humility.
After this came pride. Then was I filled with wrath and vanity, with melancholy and bitterness, and all puffed up with pride. Thereto was added another bitterness concerning the benefits which God had bestowed upon me, because I remembered no more any good thing of them whatsoever, but only remembered injuries and dolorous grief, marvelling that there had been any virtue whatsoever in me and doubting whether in truth there had ever been any. Neither did I perceive any reason wherefore God should have permitted this, and for this cause was all goodness shut away from me and hidden. The temptation of this thought did make me to be filled with pride and anger, most bitter sadness and affliction and a grief greater than I can declare, so that if all the wise men of the world and all the saints of paradise had given me every assurance to comfort me and had promised me every blessing which could be named, not even they could have done aught for me or rendered me any help, if God had not changed my soul and worked differently within it. Neither should I have believed in them, but all would have worked together to increase mine anger, affliction, sadness, and pain more than I could possibly declare.
Wherefore, if God would but have liberated me from these torments and temptations, in lieu thereof would I willingly have suffered every ill and would have borne all the infirmities and suffering which have ever been known, and verily do I believe that they would have been less hard for me to bear than were the aforesaid torments. Wherefore have I ofttimes said that, if only I might be set free from them, I would gladly have endured every form of martyrdom. This state of torments and temptations did begin some little while before the time of the pontificate of Celestino and did last more than two years, during the which I was ofttimes tormented, nor am I even yet entirely freed, albeit I do now feel it but seldom, and that only outwardly, not inwardly as heretofore. But when I am in that state I do perceive that in betwixt that evil humility and that pride there is a great purging and purifying of the soul, by which and through which is acquired that true humility without which none can be saved; so that the greater the humility, the greater is likewise the purification. Thus came I to know that betwixt those two aforesaid extremes my soul must be burned and martyred, and through the knowledge of mine offences and my sins (which knowledge it did obtain through that same true humility) my soul became purged both of pride and of demons. For the which reason doth it come that the poorer the soul is made and the more profoundly humiliated, the more doth it abase and purify itself in order that it may be cleansed. And in no other way can a soul be cleansed save by deep humiliation and by being most profoundly implanted and rooted in veritable and true humility.
Here endeth the Conversion, Penitence, and Temptation of the Blessed Angela of Foligno.
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¹ Petruccio was evidently some noted personage of the time, whose identity it is impossible now to trace. *(footnote referring back to the previous chapter's mention of Petruccio)*
"So let us be confident, let us not be unprepared, let us not be outflanked, let us be wise, vigilant, fighting against those who are trying to tear the faith out of our souls and morality out of our hearts, so that we may remain Catholics, remain united to the Blessed Virgin Mary, remain united to the Roman Catholic Church, remain faithful children of the Church."- Abp. Lefebvre