St. Athanasius: The Paradise of the Holy Fathers

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CHAPTER XX

OF THE BLESSED MAN PACHOMIUS

AND there was also another man whose name was Pachomius, who was seventy years old and who dwelt in that mountain which is called Scete; unto him I once went when lustful thoughts concerning women were afflicting me, and when my mind was dark and obscured by the thoughts of lust, and by the visions and heaviness of the nights, and when I was well nigh departing from the desert, for lust laid upon me many things [hard to bear]. Now I did not reveal unto my neighbours and unto the brethren who were living with me my tribulations, and not even unto my master Evagrius; but I went forth and I began to wander about in the desert, and I saw one of the old men who had grown old in the place—now they were all perfect fathers—and after this I saw this blessed old man Pachomius, and I found that he was superior to them all in his life, and deeds, and in his understanding. And I took courage to reveal unto him the strife of my mind, and he spake unto me thus: “Do not imagine that this is a strange matter in any way. This thing hath not happened unto thee through thine own negligence, and the place itself in which thou livest is a witness for thee, for it is restricted in the matter of things of every kind, and there is no woman therein; this lust hath fallen upon thee through [thy] strenuousness. For this warfare of lust and also of fornication is of a threefold [character]; sometimes it setteth our body against us when it is healthy and well fed, and at others lust itself, with the natural passion which is implanted in us [attacketh us], and at others the Evil One himself because of his envy. And I have watched many times, and I have found that it is even as I have said unto thee.” And he said unto me, “I, the old man whom thou seest, have lived in this cell for forty years, and I have taken the utmost care for my life and for the redemption of my soul, and even in this period of great old age, wherein thou seest that I am, I am greatly tormented by lust.”

And he assured me with an oath, saying, “When I was fifty years old lust placed itself [upon] me for twelve years, never going away from me either by day or by night, and I thought in my mind that God had forsaken me, and therefore (for to such an extent had lust gained dominion over me) I determined in my heart that I would either suffer death through dumb beasts, or that I should become a laughing-stock or a man condemned through the lust of the body. And I went forth and wandered round about in the desert, and I found a den of hyenas, and I laid myself down naked at the entrance thereof that they might come out and devour me. And when it was evening—as it is written, ‘He hath made the darkness, and it becometh night, wherein all the beasts of the forest do move (Psalm 104:20), and the lions roar to break [their prey]’—the hyenas, both male and female, came out, and they all sniffed at (or smelt) me, and licked my body from my head to my feet, and while I was thinking that they would eat me they went away from me; and there I remained the whole of that night, and they ate me not. And again I thought that God had had compassion upon me, and straightway I returned and came to my cell. And that devil of lust, having forborne with me a little, returned once again, and moreover he attacked me more fiercely than before, and he did so with such vigour that by reason of my affliction I well nigh cursed myself. Now, this devil of lust used to take the form of an Ethiopian damsel whom I saw in my early manhood gathering canes in the summer, and he came in her form and sat upon my knees, and he used to set me on fire with lust to such an extent that I imagined I was having intercourse with her, and when through the burning of my heart and the madness thereof, I gave her the cheek, straightway she would lift herself up from me and take to flight. And from the time when I touched her my hand was so polluted that for the space of two hours [afterwards] whensoever I brought my hand near me I was unable [to free it] from her foulness. But again I went forth because of my affliction, and I began to wander about in the desert, and I found a small asp, and I took it and placed its head upon the members of my body, and I squeezed the head of the asp so that it might bite me and I might die, and so find relief, but it bit me not. And after this I heard a voice which came to my ears and said unto me, ‘Depart, Pachomius, and be strong; I have allowed thee to be overcome in order that thou mightest not imagine that thou wast a mighty man and a man of perfection, and that thou hadst triumphed through thine own life and deeds, but that thou mightest know thine infirmity, and the feebleness of thy nature, and that thou mightest not rely upon thine asceticism but mightest confess the help of God and cry out to Him always.’ And having heard these words I returned to my cell, and I dwelt therein with great boldness of heart, and I never again had anxious care concerning this warfare of lust, but I continued in peace for the rest of my days after this warfare. Now, the devil of lust, seeing that I no longer meditated about the matter, never again approached me.” With these words about the striving against Satan the holy man Pachomius confirmed me, and he made me strong to play the man more and more, and to be mighty in the warfare against the devil of fornication, and he dismissed me and said unto me, “Be strong and mighty in our Lord.”

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CHAPTER XXI

OF THE BLESSED MAN STEPHEN

STEPHEN was a man who was by race of the Libyans who [dwell by] the side of Marmarica and Mareotis, and he lived there for sixty years. Now in another codex [the text readeth] differently, thus: There was also in the desert a certain blessed man whose name was Stephen, and he was by race a Libyan from the border (or side) of Marmarica; and he dwelt there in the desert for sixty years. And having attained unto the heights of a perfect rule of life, he was esteemed [by Divine Grace] worthy of the gift of discerning prudence and of the faculty of giving consolation to such an extent that whosoever drew nigh unto him, being afflicted in any way whatsoever, departed from him with joy. Now the blessed Anthony was acquainted with this man. And this Stephen continued in this life even unto our own days, but I never lived with him and I never met him, because the mountain [wherein he dwelt] was a long way off from me. The holy men Ammonius and Evagrius, however, who went to visit him related unto me stories concerning him, and they said, “Having gone to him we found him grievously sick of a certain sore sickness which had come upon him, for a cancerous sore had broken out in the lower parts of his body; now this sore is called ‘gangrene,’ and we found him being cut by a certain physician. Nevertheless the holy man was working with his hands and was plaiting [palm] leaves, and he held converse with us whilst portions of his body were being cut off. And he possessed the faculty of patient endurance to such a degree that it seemed as if the body of some one else was being cut instead of his own; now when his members had been shorn off like hair he continued, through the grace of God, to be without perception thereof. And whilst the physician was binding him up he sat still and plaited baskets with his hands, and he conversed with us, rejoicing and giving thanks unto God. And moreover, he displayed such patient endurance whilst his member was being cut off that one might have thought that it had not been cut off at all, and he resembled altogether a man from whose body threads of hair are being plucked. Now we stood there and marvelled at this affliction, for we could not bear to see the man who had led a life of such ascetic and spiritual excellences fall into such a state of suffering that at length amputation of his members was necessary. And the blessed man, having perceived our thoughts and seen that it grieved us, answered and said unto us, ‘O my sons, be not ye afflicted concerning this matter, and do not lessen your faith because of this thing, for God never performeth anything whatsoever that is evil, on the contrary, He looketh for a happy conclusion [to His work]. Oh, how many were the times when these members were condemned to punishment! For they merited being cut off, and it is better that they should receive their reward here than after their departure out of this world.’ These were the things which he spake unto us, and he comforted us and sent us away, saying, ‘Be not ye scandalized when ye see trials of this kind coming upon holy men, for by such God hath built us up and comforted us, and hath made us to be confirmed in the laws which are against tribulations.’ ” I have related these things in order that we may not wonder when we see the saints falling into tribulations.

A Preface concerning those who have fallen into the Errors of Sins

IT is very necessary, O my brethren, that we should also keep in memory the histories which concern the life and deeds of those who have tripped up and fallen as an excellent admonition of those who come across this book (just as among the trees that were in Paradise the Tree of Good and Evil was also found), so that if it happen that certain men lead good lives through the Grace and help of God, Who is wont to help those whose motive of soul is [directed] straight to the mark, they may not be exalted overmuch and have pride in their works of ascetic excellence. For on many occasions this very excellence itself hath been the cause of a fall when it hath not been made perfect by means of a correct motive, for it is written, “I have seen the righteous man who hath perished in his righteousness, which also is vanity” (Ecclesiasticus 7:15).

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CHAPTER XXII

OF VALENS THE PALESTINIAN

AND there was a certain man whose name was Valens, who was by race a Palestinian and by education a Corinthian; now the blessed Paul ascribed to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 4) as a special attribute the passion of pride and inflatedness. And having come to the desert and dwelt with us for many years, at length he arrived at such a degree of vaunting that he was laughed at by the devils; and from this state he went astray, little by little, until he was derided by them, and they became able to make him think that angels were appearing unto him. Now therefore one day, according to what they relate concerning him, as he was working in the dark at the labour of his hands, the needle wherewith he was sewing together the palm leaves fell down [on the ground], and although he searched for it he could not find it; and a devil lit a fire for him until he found it, and because of this thing he became the more proud. And at length he became so proud, and allowed such arrogant thoughts to rise up in his mind that he despised and thought scorn of the Holy Mysteries of the Body and Blood of Christ. And moreover, it came to pass that certain men of discernment came and brought unto the church some dried fruits as a [means of obtaining a] blessing, and the blessed Macarius, our elder, received [them] and sent [them] to the brethren, that is, some to every man in his cell, and among the brethren he also sent [some] to Valens. And Valens took the man who had been sent to bring the fruit to him, and heaped insults upon him and smote him, saying, “Go and say unto Macarius: ‘I am neither inferior unto thee nor am I more of a servant than art thou, that thou shouldst send me a blessing.’ ”

Now Macarius knew that he had been laid hold upon by error, and he rose up and went unto him at the turn of the day that he might persuade him, and he said unto him, “Valens, Valens, thou hast made thyself a laughing-stock, and hast fallen into error; receive then correction”; but seeing that he was unwilling to hearken unto his admonition and reproof he left him and departed. And having become more confirmed in his pride, and having reached the summit thereof, that devil, who had completely led him astray, went and made unto himself a form wherein he resembled our Redeemer; and he came unto him by night, together with phantoms of angels in great numbers who marched along bearing lamps and wax candles, and they advanced with chariots and carriages of fire, as if that devil were Christ Himself. Then one of the angels came forward unto him, and said unto him, “Christ loveth greatly thy life and deeds, and thy boldness of speech, and He hath come to see thee. Get thee forth from thy cell, and do nothing whatsoever except such things as I shall tell thee. When thou seest Him afar off fall down and worship Him, and go back to thy cell.” Now therefore when Valens had gone forth and seen the ranks [of phantoms] bearing lamps of fire, and Antichrist himself sitting upon a chariot of fire—now he was distant from him about a mile—he fell down and worshipped him. And Valens was so much injured in his mind that at the turn of the day he was sufficiently mad to come into the church and to say before all the brotherhood who were assembled therein, “I have no need to become a partaker in the offering, for this day I have seen Christ Himself.” Then the fathers tied him up and put iron fetters upon him for about the space of one year, and in this way they made him whole; and he was praying continually, and they humbled him and brought him down from the exalted conception which he held concerning himself by means of sundry and divers works of a lovely and humble character, and thus they rooted out from him pride, even as it is written, “Each opposing sickness must be healed by medicines which are contrary and opposite thereto.”

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CHAPTER XXIII

OF HERO THE ALEXANDRIAN [BISHOP OF DIOSPOLIS ABOUT AD 365]

AND there was also my neighbour, a man whose name was Ahrôn (Hero), who was by race an Alexandrian; now his early manhood was exceedingly glorious, and he was enlightened in his mind, and his intellect was keen, and the habits of his life were pure. This man, I say, after [performing] many labours was also seized by the passion of boasting and pridefulness, and he wavered and fell; and he evolved in his mind and imagined great things against the fathers, and he reviled also the blessed Evagrius, saying, “Those who allow themselves to be persuaded [into accepting] thy doctrine certainly go astray and err, for [men] require no other teacher than Christ.” And he put forward and urged in witness of his words, with foolish intent, the speech from the Gospel (which our Redeemer also spake), “Ye shall call no man master on the earth” (St. Matthew 23:8). And his understanding became so greatly blinded that at length on him also iron fetters fell, and he was fast bound, because he would neither be persuaded nor would he receive or be a partaker of the Holy Mysteries, although he loved the truth greatly. Now, the food upon which he lived was too little and the habits of his life were immeasurably strict, for, according to what those who were continually with him used to relate, on several occasions he only partook of a meal once in three months, the participation in the Mysteries only being sufficient for him; but if it happened that he came across some wild herbs by chance [he would eat them].

Now I myself, with the blessed man Albinus, received an experience of him when we were going to Scete. Scete was forty miles distant from us, and we partook of two meals and drank water three times [on the way], whilst he tasted nothing at all during his journey with us. He travelled on foot, and he was repeating [passages] from the Scriptures by heart; during the time that he went with us, he repeated [passages] from the Scriptures and sang fifteen Psalms, and he repeated the Beatitudes and the Epistle to the Hebrews, and [the book of] Isaiah the Prophet, and a portion of Jeremiah, and after [that] the Gospel of [Saint] Luke, and after [that] the Proverbs; and in spite of all this we were unable to overtake him as he trudged along. Now therefore this man was at length persecuted by lust as by a fire, and he was never again able to dwell in his cell, but he went to Alexandria, and by reason of his pride it happened unto him, through Divine Providence, even as it is said, “One good is rooted up by another.” Nevertheless, having fallen willingly into a state of indifference, he finally found redemption. Now he was present continually at the shows of the theatres and circuses, and he was never absent from the public drinking rooms of the taverns; and thus whilst he was leading this life of prodigality and drunkenness he fell and was brought to a standstill in the miry ditch of the lust of women. At length he went to one of those women who are at the head of the grade of harlots, and because of his passion with all boldness he held converse with her, and these things having thus been done by him there broke out in the place of his nature a carbuncle which grew with great vigour, and his sickness waxed sore upon him for a space of six months, and his members rotted away and they had to be cut off. By these means he became finally cured, but he remained without members; and afterwards he went back again to the integrity of [his] nature, and to divine thoughts. [And he came to the desert] and confessed all these things to the fathers, and though he remained not a long time [there] he did not flee from leading the ascetic life, nor from weeping because of what had happened to him, nor from offering up the repentance which was meet. And after a few days he died and departed from this world.

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CHAPTER XXIV

OF PTOLEMY THE EGYPTIAN WHO WAS IN SCETE

AND there was also another man whose name was Ptolemy, and he was by race from Egypt, and he observed a rule of life which no man is able to describe, or rather it is very difficult to relate the story of his life. He dwelt away beyond Scete in that [district] which is called “Klimax.” Now the place which is thus called it is impossible for a man to dwell in by reason of its ruggedness, and it was distant from the stream of water wherefrom the brethren used to draw twelve miles. Now this man Ptolemy used to take many vessels for water, and carry [them] to a certain spot where much dew fell, and in December and January he used to collect it, for in those countries the dewfall is abundant. And having gathered together for himself water in sponge[s] from time to time they were squeezed out by him, and the water which he had collected from the dew ran out, and this he was in the habit of doing during the fifteen years which he dwelt there. Now this man, having for much time been deprived of doctrine (or teaching), and of the meetings with the holy fathers, and of the intercourse of edifying speech, and especially of participation in the Mysteries, went as wholly astray from the straight path as if he had said, “The matters of service, that is to say, the Holy Mysteries, are nothing at all.” And from this state he senselessly departed and went on until at length he went into Egypt and delivered himself over to prodigal and riotous living, and he never more spake a word of excellence unto any man. And his madness came upon Ptolemy also because of the senseless and exalted opinion which he held of himself, even as it is written, “Those who are not under the law of the governors shall fall like leaves.”

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CHAPTER XXV

OF ABRAHAM THE EGYPTIAN

AND there was also a certain man whose name was Abraham, and he kept a rule of life of the sternest hardness in the desert; and he was hurt in his understanding by reason of the vain opinion which he held concerning himself. One day he came to the church and strove with the elders, saying, “I have been made an elder by Christ during the past night, and ye must associate me in the ministrations of the priesthood.” And when the fathers had come to a decision concerning him, and had brought him out of the desert, they laid a light rule of life upon him, and in this manner they cured him of his arrogance, and brought him to the state of being sensible of his feebleness, and of having knowledge of his infirmity, through which the devils made a mock of him.

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CHAPTER XXVI

OF A CERTAIN VIRGIN WHO WAS IN JERUSALEM

AND moreover, I saw a certain virgin in Jerusalem who had been clothed in sackcloth for three years, and she had secluded herself in a solitary cell, and had never permitted herself to enjoy any of the desirable things wherein there is pleasure. Now this woman, having been forsaken by the Divine Providence, because of her immeasurable pride and arrogance fell into the ditches of fornication, and she opened the window of the habitation in which she had secluded herself, and received [therein] the man who ministered unto her, and she had intercourse with him. And because she did not continue to persevere in faith and in the ascetic life with a perfect will, and with a mind which possessed Divine love, but [departed therefrom] for the sake of men, that is to say, for the sake of vainglory, doing so, moreover, with an evil intent and with a corrupt and lascivious mind—for her own thoughts having been cut off, since they had been robbed of the Divine understanding, she came to the condition of casting blame upon others—the guardian of chastity did not remain with her.

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CHAPTER XXVII

OF THE VIRGIN WHO WAS IN CAESAREA OF PALESTINE

AND again there was a certain virgin who was the daughter of an elder in Caesarea, and having been beguiled and led astray by a man, he who led her astray taught her to bring an accusation against a certain reader of the church of the city. And the time having arrived when it was known [unto all] that she was with child, and being called upon by her father to confess her matter, she made an accusation against that reader. Now her father, the elder, because he believed [her] implicitly, made known the matter unto the Bishop, and the Bishop was a holy man, and a fearer of God, and one who did not hastily pass sentence of death or punishment upon any man, and then only when it was revealed unto him by God whether he who was accused before him was indeed guilty [or not]. So the Bishop went and shut himself up until the matter was made plain [unto him]; and because God informed him that the reader had never been nigh unto the woman he held him to be innocent, and condemned the virgin.

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CHAPTER XXVIII

OF A CERTAIN WOMAN WHO FELL AND REPENTED

THERE was a certain virgin who was a nun, and who dwelt with two other nuns, and she had led a life of abstinence and voluntary self-denial for nine or ten years. And having been beguiled and led astray by a certain singer of Psalms, she tripped, and fell, and conceived, and gave birth to a child; now she hated with the fullest hatred him that had beguiled her. [And she repented within herself with a perfect repentance,] and she followed after repentance with such vigour that she went beyond the bounds of what was seemly, and she continued to observe fasts with such self-denial and strictness that she well nigh died of hunger. In her prayers she used to make supplication, saying, “O God, Who dost support and sustain all creation, and Who desirest not the death and destruction of those who err and commit sin, if Thou wishest me to live before Thee, shew me a marvellous thing in this matter, and gather in this fruit of sin which I have brought forth, lest, because I cannot again attain to chastity, I kill myself through reproach and disgrace.”

And having made supplication for this thing, she was hearkened unto, and he who had been born unto her did not remain very long alive. And from the day wherein she fell and onwards she neither saw him that had beguiled her and led her captive, nor held converse with him, but she gave herself to frequent fasting and to ministering unto the women who were sick and smitten with disease for the whole of a period of thirty years; and thus her repentance was accepted by God, and He at length revealed unto a certain holy old man concerning her, saying, “Such and such a woman is very much more pleasing unto Me by her penitence than by her virginity.” Now I write down these things in order that, if any man be observing a correct rule of life of any kind whatsoever which is pleasing unto God, he may take heed lest he fall, and that even if he be tripped up in a snare and fall he may not come to despair, and remain in his fallen condition, but that by leaning upon the staff of the hope of the Divine Mercy, and by arraying himself through repentance in the apparel of simplicity and humility he may again become strong enough to stand up, for we should not despise those who truly repent.

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CHAPTER XXX

OF THE BLESSED WOMAN THAIS OR THAISIS

AND now I desire to narrate unto you the excellent history and the great repentance of the blessed woman Thais or Thaisis, for speech concerning her is most excellent, and it is full of encouragement and penitence of soul unto those who love God. Now this woman had a mother who, because her daughter was beautiful of face, made her to take up a position in the market, and the rumour of her beauty travelled unto every place, and those who were living afar off desired greatly to see her; and no man who looked upon her was satisfied with the sight of her face, because she burned like a flame of fire into the hearts of those who saw her, and many by reason of their mad love for her sold whatever property they had to her parents that they might have commerce with her. Now when Bessarion, the servant of God, heard these things concerning this woman and that through her beauty she was dragging many to destruction, he arrayed himself in the apparel of a man who was in the world, and took with him one dînâr and went unto her, and when he saw her he brought forth the dînâr and gave it to her; and having taken the dînâr she said unto him, “Let us go into a room,” and he said unto her, “Yea, let us go in.” And having gone in, the blessed man Bessarion saw the couch which was laid out, now it was a very high one, and the woman said unto the old man, “Come, get up on this bed”; and he said unto her, “Hast thou not inside this chamber another room?” and she said unto him, “Yea.” Then he said unto her, “Let us then go in there.” And Thais answered and said unto him, “If it be that thou art ashamed of men [seeing thee, know] that no man can see [us] in this chamber; but if it be God of Whom thou art afraid He can see us in whatsoever place we enter.” And the blessed man Bessarion hearing these words, said unto her, “My daughter, dost thou know that God existeth?” And she said unto him, “Yea, I know that God existeth, and [that there will be] kingdom, and judgement.” Then the old man said unto her, “If thou knowest that God is, and [that there will be] kingdom and judgement, why dost thou destroy men in this manner?” And straightway the woman cast herself at his feet, and said unto him, “I know that there is repentance for those who sin. But I beseech thee, master, to tarry with me for three hours, and whatsoever thou wishest to do unto me that do because of all the evil things which have been wrought by me”; and having told her in what place he would await her he left her and went away.

Then in that same hour the woman took everything which she had gained by fornication and burnt it with fire in the midst of the city, and she said, “Come, O all ye who have had commerce with me, and see that I am burning before your eyes every possession which I have gathered together by means of sin”; and the things which were burned were [worth] three hundred pounds of gold, and there were there also goods and apparel of all kinds; and after she had burned up everything she went to the blessed man Bessarion. And when Bessarion saw her he took her by her hand and led her along and brought her to a religious house of sisters, and he shut her in a little cell, leaving her only one small window in the wall through which a woman passed in food to her. And the blessed Bessarion said unto the head of the house, “Give her a pound of dry bread each day, and water according to her need.” Then the blessed woman Thais said unto the venerable Bessarion, “With what petition dost thou command me to pray unto God? That He should forgive me my sins?” The blessed Bessarion said unto her, “Thou art neither worthy to pray unto God, nor to make mention of His Name with thy lips, nor to stretch out thy hands unto Him; for thy lips are unclean and polluted, and thy hands are contaminated with impurity; thou shalt only sit down and gaze towards the East, and thou shalt say nothing except, ‘O Thou who didst create me, have mercy upon me.’ ” And having dwelt in that cell for a space of about three years, the blessed Bessarion had mercy upon her, and the blessed man went to Abbâ Anthony that he might learn from him whether God had forgiven her her sins or not. Then having spoken concerning her unto Anthony that blessed man called unto his disciples, and said unto them, “Let each one of you shut himself in [his] cell all night, and pray ye unto God that we may see unto whom shall be revealed the matter concerning which the blessed Bessarion hath come unto us [this day].”

And when they all had done as they had been commanded and when a long time had elapsed, the blessed Paul, the chief of the disciples of Mâr Anthony, looked into the heavens and saw a couch which had been spread with great splendour, and three angels who were carrying three lamps were standing before that couch, and a crown of glory was laid thereupon. And having seen all this glorious sight, he said, “This couch can only be for my father Anthony.” Then a voice came unto him from heaven, saying, “This couch is not for Anthony, thy father, but for Thais the harlot”; and the blessed Paul rose up early in the morning and related the vision which he had seen. And the blessed Mâr Bessarion came back from Abbâ Anthony in great joy, and he went to the religious house of the sisterhood, and he opened the door that he might bring the woman out from the cell wherein she was secluded; but she made entreaty unto him, saying, “Leave me here until my death, for my sins are many.” Then the blessed man said unto her, “Behold the merciful God hath had compassion upon thee, and He hath accepted thy repentance”; and then she wished to go forth from her cell. And she answered and said unto him, “Believe me, O Father, from the day wherein I entered this cell I have made all my sins a mighty burden and I have set it before my eyes, in suchwise that as the breath of my nostrils hath not separated itself from me, so my sins have not separated themselves from me until this hour.”

And the blessed Bessarion answered and said unto her, “God hath not forgiven thee thy sins because of thy repentance, but because of the thought which thou hadst—that thou wouldst deliver thyself over unto Christ.” Now this blessed woman Thais lived (literally, made) after her repentance fifteen days, and she departed unto our Lord in peace. Thus was the crowning of the blessed Thais, who was lost and was found, and was dead and who came to life by the grace of Christ, unto Whom belong mercy, and compassion, and glory, and honour, for ever and ever. Amen.